A Glass of Plain Water

She stared at it.

She turned her laptop on.

Placed her fingers on the keyboards and her brain started commanding the fingers to start dancing.

She looked empty, but her fingers could not stop resisting to dance.

Her ten little chubby fingers was hoping that her little stubborn brain will command a stop.

She sighed.

I wondered what was in her mind. I looked at her-trying to figure something out from her expression.

Null.

I could not read anything.

I looked carefully, deeply into her eyes.

I sighed. I knew it.

She cried.

I took a step back. I did not know what to do.

I was speechless, helpless and hopeless.

I want to cheer her up.

She pulled her lips in seconds-faking a smile to me.

“I am okay. I am strong", she said.

I smiled back to her.

I wished I could give a tap on her shoulder and said,

“I know you can! I believe in you!”

I wished I could.

If I could, I would.

I looked at her deeply. No words came out from my mouth.

Null.

I could not say anything. I wanted to comfort her, cheer her up, lent my shoulder to her.

I wanted to do those.

I really want to do them.

But I couldn't.

She once again pulled her lips and murmured,

“Everything will be alright, please make a move to your bed and have a good rest.”

I knew she lied. She was not okay. She was broken. She was messed up.

I knew.

She sighed.

She gave me her annoyed expression-“You doubt me?”

I looked away.

Pain changes a person.

Then, I looked at her again.

“You don’t have to tell me what is in your mind. Cry it out. I am here for you.”,

my heart whispered.

She kept quiet.

She zipped her mouth so tightly that I could not even hear she swallowed her own saliva.

She was broken. She was upset.  She was worried. She was feeling so small.

She could deny all these assumptions I threw to her.

Yes.

She could deny them from everyone-not me.

I know her.

A bottle of red wine is right in front of her eyes.

Yet, she keeps herself waiting.

Waiting for a glass of plain water.

She sighed.

I took a deep breath, smiled to her and I walked away from the mirror.

#ME