It is 2.24 am now and I still feel so fresh, I am having
the problem to go to bed at the right time.
Mmm, right time? Are there even exist? The right
timing?
Oh well…
This morning, when I was on the bus no 8 on the way to
office, I recalled a handful of stuff. They were good and bittersweet memories.
I closed my eyes for a second, took a deep breath and
I knew it, I miss him.
I knew it, I miss him.
I
still miss him.
I looked outside through the bus’ window. I saw nothing
but a tree and bus stop. I took a deep breath again, but this time I didn’t
sigh. I smiled.
I think I finally learn how to let things go. I think I finally learn how to accept it
and understood that, we
just could not make it to be together.
I admitted it was hard. Yes, it is.
I flashed back to the memories when we both just knew
each other. Well, it was at station 4 when I first saw you and started admiring
you. It was September 2012. I forgot which date it fell, but I remembered it
was September 2012.
Hi ! Nice to know you.
Started by adding you in the social network called Facebook,
like your photos and …. I stopped.
I guessed this was just a crush, nothing serious. So I
stopped.
Lol actually I just thought that I got no hope. LOL
*
October 2013!
It felt so surreal to meet you again at the same place. I
didn’t expect to be able to meet you there. But I was super happy to see you
again-real. But I tried to stay calm. Yes, I stayed super calm till no one even
noticed that the reason why I was back to do part time was just to see you!
Well, don’t even care about back to back shift. It was just so great to see you
around!
I like to see you talking to the guests, giggling with
them and once you caught me looking at you. You started to raise your right
eyebrow about 15 degrees. Then you gave me the look, “what’s wrong?”
And I shifted both of my eyes to the top right, telling
you, “Chill dude. I wasn’t looking at you.”
And I walked away-such a drama.
*
A tiny greenish block was the beginning of our
conversation. With your arrogant looking you came to me and asked “You want to
take anything from the buffet?”
“Green tea matcha?” I replied. Didn’t even finished my
sentences, then he just walked away.
Damn! How could this person be so rude?
"Don’t come to work tomorrow, Meylisa." I told myself.
I tighten my apron and I walked away too. I walked to the
side station, opened up the wardrobe, took out the napkins and started to set
up those empty tables.
Still mumbling about him to myself, telling myself should
not think too much but stop work tomorrow onward.
He came with a dessert bowl and said “Madam.. Here your
green tea matcha”
Mmm
You know if this is whatssap I will spam this blog with
the blushing emoji.
BUT! I acted cool. I answered, “OH”.
He raised his right eyebrow again, signalling me, “Just
like that?” and he walked away.
“Come to work tomorrow, Meylisa!” I told myself.
*
Coffee?
It will never be my drink even for once. Oh seriously, I
just could not take coffee.
However, can you imagine that I made a cup of coffee for
him? #hahaha
Though I knew that the taste was sick! I swear! I didn’t
know the right amount of water I should pour. Yet he said, “It tastes nice”
Yes. he said it tasted nice and the next day he made
coffee for himself. It was a half cup coffee.
Mmmm…. Okay.
Thank you boyfriend.
*
They were now left as memories. The Paul smith sleeves
T-shirt, the clutch, the M necklace, the Clinique perfume and chubby stick. How are you, Mr sharp nose?
*
15 may 2014. The day I celebrated my advanced 21st
birthday with my Indonesia clique, I prepared my wishes way long ago. I heard
people were clapping hands and shouting blew the candles! Make a wish!
I smiled, staring at my birthday cake, closed my eyes and
I asked God, “I want to meet him. This will be the greatest birthday gift from
you! Please make it happens God!”
*
38.9 degrees Celsius.
High fever, cough and running nose. I rushed to my kitchen, grabbed the pink
small handbag containing tonnes of medicines. I kept on searching for running
nose medicines.
I found it. I found it. I found it with your name on it
too.
But this time, I felt as bitter as the medicine.
Everything has changed.
*
It was February 2014.
It is your birthday month. Not sure
what I should get you for your birthday. And yeah, I was having my financial
crisis as dad has cut off my credit card because this ‘obedient’ daughter
refused to go back to Indonesia for good. (This time he is not the reason why I insist
to stay here. My dream keeps me fighting.)
I was clueless till I saw my friends were going their animation
project, I then finally got an idea.
Don’t laugh!
I know I am an idiot for design and media
thingy.
But I tried. With my minimum budget I had, I created a
stop motion video with total of 300 hundred photos taken in the same background
and height.
Guys! I swear! After 3 hours of that I got a bad back pain. Then after, editing the video and choosing the suitable song, I then realise that this video is kinda cheapo to be presented as a birthday gift. I scrolled my eyes 360 degrees. Took a deep breath! YEAH!
Guys! I swear! After 3 hours of that I got a bad back pain. Then after, editing the video and choosing the suitable song, I then realise that this video is kinda cheapo to be presented as a birthday gift. I scrolled my eyes 360 degrees. Took a deep breath! YEAH!
FOUND!
He loves soccer! FCB!
Yes, I don’t have any clue what is that, I only know that
he likes no 10 FCB, and whenever he played FIFA, he was in his own world.
I opened up Line app. I joined the FCB club. Hoping that
I could get the latest news about them.
And YES!
They sell their jersey at Bugis Plus!
I went to Bugis Plus and checked for the price. Mmmm….
Hahaha who says girls clothes are expensive?
I went home and texted my manager, telling him next week
I would work every day! No off!
Okay! Mission accomplished!
Mr. Sharp Nose was happy with the birthday gift <3
YEAH!!
*
13 days ago, at this timing, I was still awake. It was
not because I was feeling fresh like today but it was because I kept hoping
that the time would have stop. I was so selfish that I just want the time to
stop. He was just beside me.
6 hours was enough to convince me that his feeling to me
was once real. No question regarding the past or future. I don’t care. Just he
and I for those 6 hours, I didn’t ask anything about the past or future. He
gave me an unforgettable gift. I really love them.
6am. Time was up. I kissed him on the cheek. I walked
away slowly. Somehow I feel that he won’t want to meet me again.
I think he knows I still love him.
*
The guy who never treats me like a princess, the guy who
never pours me with sweet-talking, the worst yet the best boyfriend.
Yea. He wins my heart. But I didn’t win his.
I never thought that I could love someone till this much.
I easily have a crush on guys but I hardly said I’m in love.
This time, I have fell in love without me knowing it,
till there is a day I wake up, loving him so much.
As the time passes, I understood that we can’t force love
or feeling.
Sometimes, letting go doesn’t mean giving up. But it is brave and
strong enough to let your loved one to find someone whom can complete them.
You can’t erase your feeling or the memories. Why should you erase them? Don't you love them?Then why haven’t you
kept them?
And him. Yes. He will always be in the special place in my
heart.
